Do you feel people use their reactions and emotions to sway you in a particular direction? Bullshit and total manipulation, but maybe unknowningly. I find people use certain ways and ideas to get another person to move and respond. I deal with it, as we all do, with various people.
Do you call it out or play the passive role of their shit? Some people tend to have a harder grip on our reactions and triggers. Why in the hell do we let them? Some call it love, empathy, being sympathetic and some simply just don't like conflict. Whichever the case, its never good. This is why! Either way you damage a part of yourself when the reaponse is negative. First, if you just let it slide and you hold your tongue, this will cause the throat chakra to close. Then that uncomfortable lump forms in your throat. Never good. Or you choose to give them a piece of your mind, and it backfires into some uproar of a situation. Possiblly charging the solar plexus chakra with negative adrenaline. Now you are on the defense, all fired up!
Either they respond and cave into themselves depressingly. Or they rage against your defense because they think, "how dare you!"
We have to understand people have one major issue in common. Clear and honest communication. This is so challenging when the heart is racing and we feel like scratching eyes out. Some of us have emotional intelligence which allows us to respond without causing any change within. I have found that speaking up without a chip on your shoulder comes with practice. If you do come from this stance and you then notice the people or person persisting. Then maybe they just want to keep you on edge. Or they want to control and get a reaction out of you because it feeds their behavioral pattern. This is where I make a conscious choice to ignore them completely. Dont even respond. Simply put it takes too much energy and in the end we tend to become part of the power struggle, in what seems to leave both people feeling depleted.
What is needed to become more in tune with your own emotions is to be aware of how and where you feel this in your body. Is it in the abdomen? The heart area? The throat? Lowerback? Each will bring out an uncomfortable feeling. Simply notice it before you react. Then which ever the case, responding from knowing what you want and do not want in your life is key. Emotional intelligence is to understand how to or not to respond in any given situation. Also recognizing how others are projecting what they may feel and how that has nothing to do with you.
"How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours." - Dr. Wayne Dyer
Key tips to not respond hastly:
- Listen to the way someone is speaking and their body language. If you know them, ask yourself if it is a patrern in behavior.
- Tune into your body in the moment to see where you feel discomfort.
- Do not react in defensiveness.
- Make sure any choice you make is your own and not catering to their emotional neediness.
- Be open about how they make you feel when they treat you this way. Keep yourself neutral.
- Learn how to see through your own negative responses and patterns.
- Dont judge, but dont play the game.
This is just the basics. When you start to notice your triggers and those you have given power to by responding. You will have a growth spurt emotionally and mature. Plus side is that those people can't move you anymore.
Take today with a smile,